When we last left off, pop/rock band Andreas were on their way to New Brunswick for the second date of their inaugural tour.
The following diary entries of bassist Justin Lehman detail his interactions not only with the band, but with their strange little mascot…
Listen, I would love for this entry to be about the show we played in New Brunswick last night – I would love for this entry to be about how generous and kind the people in the town of Bristol were.
That’s not what this entry is about though.
This entry is about land sharks.
The last few hours of our marathon trip to the East Coast play out like a fevered dream in my memory; I do not recall who made the fatal mistake of casually mentioning the name of the bar we would be playing that night, but I know I will never forget that name for as long as I shall live.
There was an audible gasp.
It was Mini Brian (which is weird because, frankly, I didn’t know he breathed air).
“Did one of you Jews say land shark?”
(As a note, none of us are Jewish… Mini Brian just isn’t entirely sure how racism works.)
Jennifer quickly responded that no one in the truck had said “land shark” – Mini Brian slapped her across the face and told her to mind her place.
We continued along the highway in silence for a few minutes when suddenly, Mini Brian reached into his tiny little pockets and pulled out a crude drawing.
After referring to the thing in the picture as a “handsome son of a bitch” half a dozen times, Mini Brian went on to explain that during his last visit to the East Coast, he had been accosted in the night by the assailant that was unmistakably “land sharkish”.
He then spent the next two years painstakingly sketching the nightmarish creature from memory; following its completion, he had it circulated nationally – but to no avail.
“This obsession has cost me everything,” he said weakly, “my honour, my dignity, mine not ever having had sex with a land shark before – everything. It is time to end this.”
It is safe to say we didn’t make it to A.C. Sharkey’s last night – for we are currently at sea, hunting for a mythological creature that if not for the fact it were imaginary, would probably live on the land anyway.
Such is life with Andreas.
As a side note, A.C. Sharkey’s is a wonderful bar in Bristol, New Brunswick, owned and operated by some of the kindest people we have ever met.