The List of Overused Band Motifs

OverusedBandMotifsWolf / Bear / Animal Pageantry 

Someone should have told Wolfmother that Minus The Bear already had the furry vote.

Offenders – Fleet Foxes, Wolf Parade, AIDS WOLF, Deerhunter, Arctic Monkeys, Grizzly Bear, Deer Tick. . . .

 

Metal Names

Any name I could make by slamming my elbows into the keyboard ain’t a name, Sailor; it’s shit.

Offenders – Opeth, Loits, Mezzerschmitt, Myrkgrav, Vaakevandring, Riul Doamnei

Note: Black Metal bands also have a lovely reputation of designing highly illegible and confusing fonts.

 

Double Word / Repeaters

Purposefully naming your band the same word twice makes me think of someone with a stutter or someone so uncreative they just go: “How ’bout the same word again?”

Offenders – Mother Mother, Money Money, Talk Talk, Mr.Mister, Tapes ‘n’ Tapes, Timber Timbre (not exactly the greatest example, since the two are in fact different words, but a shitty name is still just that)

Note: A pass is granted to Duran Duran, as it’s a slight Barbarella reference.

 

Those that are Unpronounceable 

I’m no genius, but if I was trying to break into the music business and book some gigs, I’d try picking something that is simple for the rest of the schlubs out there to pronounce. I mean, that’s great that you named your group after a 900-year-old African tribe, but that doesn’t make me want to pay you money for music.

Offenders – !!!, Sigur Ros, Autechre, Ke$ha, Dan Dananananaykroyd

 

Apocalyptic Viking Imagery (usually God-awful hard-rock/black metal)

It’s 2012, not 1540, so there is no need to keep the ‘tongue of yore’ intact.

Offenders usually have the following words in their name: Against, Until, Blood / Bleed / Bled, Death / Die / Dying, Thine / Thy, Chasm, Chamber, Flesh, or Temple, and package their albums with dead trees, birds, blood spatters, and winter themes for an extra shot of fun!

 

Naming your Band after an Already Existing Book / Film (that usually ends up puking on the legacy of the author/director)

Book Offenders – As I Lay Dying (good book, awful band), They Shoot Horse Don’t They?, Of Mice and Men (Ditto to both)

Film Offenders – Mudhoney, Big Country, Save Ferris

 

The Colour Black

Black is a great rock and roll colour because it fits so nicely into the wardrobe of rockers everywhere – it can go with a bottle of Jack (amber), an eight-ball of coke (white) and red (blood from the bouncers head).

Offenders – Black Angels, Black Keys, Black Crowes, Black Halos, Black Lungs, Big Black, Black Lips, Black Kids, Black Veil Brides, Black Mountain, Black Flag, Black Moon. . . .

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