How Your T-Shirt Says Everything About You All The Time

shirtThere is something that I think needs to be addressed in the world of the modern music fan: to all those who epitomize the current lifestyle of living as a character (see: embracing the irony of paying a lot of money for clothes even the homeless wouldn’t touch, being such a non-conformist you conform to the strict rules of non-conformity by treating everything embraced by the norm like SARS-ridden donuts, etc. . .).

“The world goes on even when the wax doesn’t.”

Meaning, yes, you love music, and you’re super energized by it – which is great – but there is an alarming amount of people living up their own asses who judge and complain constantly because others don’t meet their high expectations.

I know this because when I’m walking to work (through an ungodly amount of all-aged hipsters), I hear them drooling bile about oil, and trucks, and fair trade, and this, and that, and Jesus!

And yes, faceless poseur, that’s my finger in your face, but come on – find some humility!

Now, it could be argued that this article has nothing to do with music or the

coverage of indie music and I would be tempted to agree, if not for the fact that most of these people I speak of make up the world of indie music, either selling it, listening to it or creating it.

So here are some points to ponder, offenders of music humanity. . . . And if this can convince even just one person convert back to reality, or out of their ironed chinos, I’ll be a happy bunny.

One – Yes, I get it, you work in a record store part-time and co-author an anarchist ‘sine on the side and only eat soy flown from Japan, but your total lack of enthusiasm and sketchy eye-contact is making me re-consider shelling out 16 bucks for a record you didn’t even help me find.

Two – I’m sure your boyfriend totally gets it, but don’t scowl at me when I’m going by rubbernecking that MAYHEM skull tattoo you just got done.

Three – Oh I forgot, CDs are flying off the shelves, so, yeah, totally be a dick and undercut the customers when they just want to know if YES is rock or pop. . . so sue me!

Four – If you’re in a band made up of nine or more members and still haven’t made one song that is worth hearing, you should probably look into cutting the fat.

Five – Bad is bad, and good is good. No amount of fuzz or lo/no-fi recording techniques will ever make me forget that.

Six – People work. I know it’s crazy to think that, all just because of the man and corporations and governments – oh, you know what? Just shut off your frigid’ music after 11.

Seven – If you VISAed a $90 super rare/vintage band tee that 90% of the world doesn’t know exists and are let down when that girl who looks like Kim Gordon doesn’t comment on it, the joke’s kind of on you.

Eight – Just because you play keyboard/laptop in a no-wave shoe-gaze band, doesn’t give you the right to ignore fans when they say, “Good show!” We all know you secretly got a semi knowing someone thinks  your fax-machine recordings are ‘totally inspired’!

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