If you’re like me, you work part-time hours at a couple of jobs, rummaging through couch cushions on the weekend just to tip the pizza boy, only to find that your bills are piling up way too high to get anywhere near the newest release section of your nearest record store.
For those so inclined to download, steal or borrow, here’s a list, in no particular order, date or genre, to help you feed your need, you damn dirty junkie!
Start knocking on doors, shovelling horseshoe or selling blood because to get the full affect – artwork and all – here are the ones you need to own.
Grinderman 2 – Grinderman
If you know who Nick Cave is, but are unsure of his spine-wrenching greatness with a porno-stache, beg someone to loan you the bread and set your mind to post-coitus. This is a need to own. Highlights include ‘Worm Tamer’, ‘Evil’, and ‘Bellringer Blues’.
Thickfreakness – The Black Keys
Before Danger Mouse corralled them into the pop spectrum, these Ohio boys were melting faces and being the damn best two-piece this side of coffee and cream. A need for the artwork alone. Oh, and the cover of Junior Kimbrough’s ‘Everywhere I Go’!!
Fun House – Stooges
So good, I own two copies. What real American rock and roll was and could still be – aww, who am I kidding, no it can’t. So lose your shirt, spread the peanut butter and get ready to spit blood.
Good, but not worth the money. So, for this reason, I say wear your extra baggy gear and hire your buddy’s dimwit sister to distract the clerk.
[Editor’s Note: Raz Mataz Magazine does not endorse any illegal activities of any sort.]
Chocolate and Cheese – Ween
One of their best, but a fundamentally flawed album. I’d also steal the nightmare (and I mean great nightmare) that is The Pod Demos while I’m at it, for the ripped-off cover alone!
Black Dots – Bad Brains
One of the best punk albums by a punk band, ever. Should be a beg, but if your parents hear this, they’ll be pissed to know you forked over the money you made flipping burgers.
Anything by Boris
You shan’t be regretting, an almost certain arrest.
Money nor time in the clink could make you actually hear this. So, ask one of your goddamn friends!
Anything by Brian Eno
Have any of his ambient work laying around to bait those hyper film critic chicks into thinking you’re totally deep and worth the time to unfrock, given your taste in music with no words.
Third – Portishead
Good album, great band, but the ability to YouTube ‘Machine Gun’ doesn’t justify a purchase.
Chocolate and Ice – My Morning Jacket
This EP has, like, five songs on it, and one of them is the same length as an episode of Happy Days, but goddamn is it great. ‘Cobra’. Done.